5. Déambulations : Winter

An audio WhatsApp message.

Hey girls! I hope you’ve been well since your last messages. I am so sorry I haven’t had much time to respond yet but the past month has just been really busy with the new job. I am walking for a bit to get to the subway, so I’ll take this time to finally get back to you.

So first, to give you a bit of an idea where I am, my job is in a neighborhood we call “Midtown East”so it’s approximately in the middle of the east side of Manhattan. In this neighborhood we have hedge funds, like mine, consulting firms and communications firms ; large hotels, luxury stores, lunch place upon lunch place upon lunch place. North of me is Central Park, South is shopping, Broadway shows, and major train and bus stations. The engine of the city, like capitalism materialized. It’s pretty ugly but the tourists still love it. You guys might know this but New York is basically a grid so right now I am on 51st Street and Park Avenue and I need to get to 59th Street and Columbus Circle which means I have to go up eight streets and left across six avenues.

So anyway, where to start with an update. Today at work was stressful, lots of meetings back to back and the other receptionist was out so I was running around between the lobby, conference rooms and the kitchen, stopping at the desk to quickly answer the phone or welcome more clients. And everyone expects everything to always look good and run smoothly, but it’s like they forget sometimes that I’m the one that’s actually making it all happen. But then there are other days when nothing happens and I’m so bored I swear the neon lights and marble floors will just suck all the life out of me.

Almost runs into someone.

Oh excuse me I’m so sorry!

I have to be a little careful walking fast and talking because it’s rush hour so I have to pay attention and keep the momentum going. And it’s really loud, sorry, I hope you can still hear me. You know, working in this neighborhood with this schedule really gives an insight into the clockwork of corporate America. It’s a whole new world for me. Commuting every morning feels like being a part of the heartbeat of the city, or more like being the blood that flows through the veins at high speed with no choice, no interruptions, and the huge responsibility of carrying life through the city. From the moment I leave my apartment to the moment I step through the glass office doors, it’s one continuous flow of purposeful geometric movement. I join a herd of people in suits who don’t stop, every gesture swift, efficient and necessary.

Oh wait one sec, I just have to find a way to jump over a puddle … Ok, sorry I am back. That’s the thing about snow in this city. At first it is pretty and special and then it turns to brown, disgusting slush and giant lakes at every corner. A nice metaphor for everybody’s mood.

Ah, now I am on 6th avenue and when I look left I can see all the way down Manhattan, down to the Freedom Tower. One straight line that just keeps going; feels purposeful, powerful, full of potential. I also see a river of christmas lights and decorations, trees in storefronts and office lobbies. Coats, hats, scarves, gloves, snow boots, ear muffs. Shoulders hunched up with arms neatly tucked into pockets, rapid steps. Steam lifted in the air, in front of people's faces, above manholes and rooftops. It really is magical, I think you guys would like it. I haven’t really noticed much around me since I started working here. I’ve kind of been on autopilot, just following the grid and the flow of people. Home commute walk work walk drink with friends walk commute home and all over again. I haven’t had a creative idea in months, it seems. I’m a little drained. But I do feel relieved and responsible to have found a stable job so I can survive in this city.

Anyway, Alicia, thank you so much for your last message! It made me feel like I was in Lyon with you. I could picture what streets you were on and when you were turning. Most of all I loved the sounds. The sound of your bus ticket when you punched it and the way the bus stops and starts and pulls. Your suitcase rolling down the paved streets, the chestnut vendor, that server taking an order, the train station announcements. Sounds all so familiar it was like I suddenly remembered with intense clarity who I was and where I came from. For a few minutes, my inner life was right there with you and the reality outside was jarring. And then I was walking up Broadway again where buses and metro cards and suitcases make different sounds. Languages are different, mentalities are different, ambitions are different. Two different realities, and sometimes I don’t know if one of them is real and the other imagined, and which one is which.

Alright, I am almost at the subway station now and I can’t feel my fingers anymore so it’s actually perfect timing to end this message, sorry it was so long. Oh and I can’t believe this isn’t the first thing I told you, I finally bought my plane ticket! I’ll be in Paris in exactly 3 months from now. No Lyon this time, but still, I can’t wait!

Allez bisous les filles, à bientôt!